The Difference Between Living and Being Alive
by Demented Fairy
Summary: Ron and Hermione go out in sixth year. They break up. Ron is a smarmy git. Harry likes Hermione. Hermione is confused. Will overwhelming nightmares and chaos bring Harry and Hermione together? All answers lie within "the difference."
1. Life Lesson 1: Pain is inevitable

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Disclaimer: I'm only posting this once. I do NOT own Harry Potter in any way, shape or form. It all belongs to JK Rowling. JK is a genius and I have no money. I am just a sad, lowly writer who enjoys writing HP fan-fiction. I am the same as you. We share the same obsession with Harry Potter. I COME IN PEACE!

A/N: _Italicized_ = a flashback or a character's thoughts.

Now, without further ado…

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Chapter 1

She had given him a chance. She had thought things might turn out ok. She had thought, _Well, I'll never know until I give it a try. _And mind you, Hermione always gave things a try. This even included people. Sometimes she had impaired judgements, take Lockheart for example, but usually, her first thoughts were always right. Hermione had had second thoughts of course, about the relationship, but she had politely dismissed them. She had fought back with her own reasoning, telling herself that maybe they could get along, as more than friends. Even comments from friends helped her along in saying yes when he had finally asked her out.__

"You two are always bickering like an old married couple. It would be so cute to see you two actually together!" Parvati exclaimed.

Hermione realized, after all was said and done that she should have talked to Ginny first. For in the end, nothing, not even her own rationalizing or encouragement from friends, could change the fact...

That Ron Weasley was an insufferable git just as much as she, Hermione herself, was an insufferable know-it-all in Snape's eyes.

After three, long, and now it seemed agonizing months, she had finally given up on Ron. After all the hand holding, snuggling, and occasional snogs in an abandoned classroom, Hermione finally noticed that Ron was not what she hoped he would be. Sure, he had been sweet and caring and acted, as any boyfriend should, but that had only lasted about a month. Soon, to Hermione's disappointment, he started noticing other girls and making stupid, off-handed comments about them that he would later have to explain to a furious Hermione. Of course, just as any other "bickering, old married couple" they made up and eventually ended up making out. This usually occurred in the Gryffindor common room and their classmates were always confused.

"How can they go at it like that, yelling and stuff, and then start going at it…like…like that!" Dean exclaimed, pointing at the couple now sucking face on the couch after just moments before, yelling themselves hoarse.

"I don't know man," Seamus replied, "but if I had known Hermione could be like that, I would have asked her out ages ago!"

Hermione smirked at this funny little memory. Seamus had always seemed somewhat of a horn-dog to her, but after being with Ron, she now thought that he might have a little competition. She soon became disgusted, thinking back on all the times that she and Ron had been alone. It became apparent that Ron was always a little too enthusiastic when it came to snogging or just even cuddling. He had always wanted a bit more, to go a bit farther, but Hermione wouldn't allow it. She explained to him that it made her uncomfortable and didn't want to try any of it, and to her amazement, Ron calmly obliged. At first she found it a bit odd, that Ron would so willingly listen to her without any sort of argument, but she soon found out the reason for the oddness…

"Hey Harry. Where's Ron?" Hermione asked upon entering the library and finding Harry sitting at a table by himself.

"Hey Hermione," Harry replied, looking up nervously from his book. He forced a small smile and pulled out a chair for Hermione. She sat down next to him and gave him a quizzical look.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

Harry gulped and shook his head. Then he looked away quickly and buried himself in his homework. Hermione began to ask again, but noticed Harry's homework and remembered she too had a ton of work to do.

They both sat there in silence, working on their homework, but Harry wasn't trying very hard. He kept chancing looks at Hermione, as though wanting to say something, but then thought better of it and continued with his Potions essay.

"What is it Harry?" Hermione finally asked later, catching him once again looking at her, with his mouth ready to say something.

Harry opened and closed his mouth, fetching around for the right words, before finally deciding to flat out tell her.

"Hermione, Ron is with Lavender," he said quickly.

Hermione looked at him, seemingly nonplussed. "Why didn't you say that before?"

Harry looked at her, stunned. "I thought you would have been upset…"

Hermione laughed. "But why would I…" she trailed off, noticing the look on Harry's face. He looked away, apologizing.

Hermione's face became rather white and her lips very thin. "That's alright, Harry. It's not your fault. I just wish you could have told me sooner…"

Harry turned his head, trying to explain, but she had gone, the library doors slamming behind her.

Hermione thought back bitterly on that moment. Yes, she wished Harry had told her sooner, but she understood now why he wasn't able to. He was both their best friends. He didn't want to betray Ron, yet he didn't want to hurt her.

Poor Harry, she thought. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he had been for the past three months. Actually, she didn't have to use her imagination; she witnessed it.

How many times had Harry decided to get up and leave them alone when they were having a "moment"? How many times had he been left alone in the library, when she and Ron had "forgotten" about their planned study session? How many times had she snapped at Harry when he said "Good morning" at breakfast when it wasn't really a good morning because Ron was being stupid?

She hadn't thought about any of these things when she had stormed out of the library earlier leaving Harry alone, once again. She had been too upset and confused to consider his situation and frankly, at that particular moment, she didn't care. Hermione didn't need a dictionary to translate the words "Ron is with Lavender" to know that it really meant, "Ron is busy showing Lavender the new Quidditch moves he learned…with his tongue."

Shaking with anger, she walked briskly down random corridors, determined to find Ron and give him the hexing of his life. However, she wasn't expecting to find him so soon and in the same classroom she and Ron had shared their first kiss. She fought the urge to scream. Instead, she stood calmly in the doorway. Lavender gasped and Ron spun around.

"Hermione…how…it's not what it looks like…" Ron stammered.

Hermione let out a derisive laugh, which plainly stated that Ron was fighting a losing battle. At this moment, Lavender decided to gather herself and leave the room, face to the floor and walking past Hermione quickly. Hermione slowly stepped into the room, making her way towards Ron. He was ready for her to yell at him like she'd never done before. He was ready for her to curse him into the next century. But Hermione didn't yell or utter a single curse. Instead, she brought her hand up and slapped Ron hard across the face. He reeled, his eyes stinging, and it became oddly recognizable that he had reached as low as Malfoy. Hermione then marched quietly out of the room leaving Ron by himself with his wounded face and pride.

Hermione had been roaming the corridors for nearly two hours, thinking about the past three months and the events that had occurred this afternoon. She looked down at her hand, the one she had used to hit Ron. She could hardly believe that it was the same hand she had used to hold Ron's when they walked down to breakfast this morning. Staring at it, somewhere in her mind vaguely registered that it still hurt. But not as much as her heart did. Her body leaned against a wall and slid down to the ground bringing her knees to her chest. Not knowing what else to do, she buried her head and cried.

A/N: So how was it? Good? Bad? Leave me a review! I should have Chap. 2 up very soon. That and I like tacos. Yum!


	2. He got what he deserved

A/N: Woo! I'd like to thank the wonderful seven people who reviewed the first chapter! I was actually really nervous that people wouldn't like the story, but they were all very positive! Thank you!

Elvyn-Light: Here's the second chapter. Where's my muffin? ;-)

Mariana: Yes, tacos are the best thing in the world. But quesadillas are a very close second.

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Chapter 2

"Hermione…"

Hermione looked up and down the corridor to where she heard her name. Her eyes were red and puffy and it was hard for her to see. She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there crying, but she knew she must have fallen asleep

"Hermione?" the voice called again.

The owner of the voice had gotten closer and Hermione could now see a familiar head of red hair jogging towards her.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry!" Ginny exclaimed as she knelt to the ground and hugged Hermione tightly. She hugged her back and slowly began to cry again. Ginny made soft, calming noises and rubbed her hand up and down Hermione's back trying to sooth her.

Ginny couldn't help but feel like part of this was her fault. It had been her brother…her arrogant, pig of a brother that had caused all this. She knew her brother could be stupid, but this was utterly mind-blowing. How could he sink so low?

"Hermione, you know I have several brothers and I certainly wouldn't mind killing a particular one off for you," Ginny joked.

Hermione sniffled and laughed. She pulled away, wiping her eyes and looking at her friend. "Thanks Ginny…"

"Anytime. Hey, I bet you're hungry and dinner's about to start. You wanna head down to the Great Hall?"

"Oh no, I couldn't," Hermione replied. "He'll be down there and I…"

To Hermione's surprise, Ginny laughed at this. "Don't worry about it Hermione. Ron's gonna be unable to make it to dinner tonight…"

Hermione stared at her. "Why?"

"Because he's in the hospital wing…he's a bit…" Ginny paused, a slight smirk upon her face. "How do I say this…ah…his brain is a bit fried…"

Hermione was very confused, but before she could ask anymore questions, Ginny had pulled her to her feet and was dragging her down to the Great Hall.

"Why won't you tell me exactly what happened?" Hermione asked as she and Ginny went down a narrow staircase.

"Because…I'd rather Harry tell you," Ginny replied.

"Harry? What does Harry have to do with this? What'd he do?"

Ginny remained silent, but a sly grin remained on her face. They finally reached the Great Hall and made their way over to where Harry was sitting, staring down at his plate and fiddling with his green beans.

"Hi Harry," Ginny said brightly taking the seat across from him.

Harry looked up to greet Ginny, but hesitated when he saw Hermione with her who had taken a seat next to Ginny. He wasn't sure if she was still upset with him from the library. Hermione smiled a bit at Harry and he took this as an "all clear" signal.

"Hey Ginny…Hermione…"

"Hey Harry. What'd you do to Ron?" she asked quickly.

Harry choked and looked at her, wide eyed. "Er…"

"Go ahead Harry! She wants to know all about it…" Ginny said encouragingly.

He looked at Ginny, then to Hermione and he couldn't help but let a small grin appear on his face. "Well, remember that time I blew my aunt up because I was angry?"

Hermione nodded her head. She became very anxious as a grim picture formed in her head. "Well, the same thing happened with Ron, except I didn't blow him up…"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Then…what happened?" she breathed. At this part, Ginny started laughing hysterically and nearly fell out of her seat. Harry looked at her and grinned even wider. Then he looked back at Hermione.

"The top of his head caught fire…" If it was at all possible, Ginny started laughing even harder and finally fell out of her seat. By now, they had half the table's attention. Hermione didn't say anything for a long time. Harry became slightly afraid. He wasn't sure if Hermione would appreciate him setting Ron on fire. But finally, after a tense, pregnant pause, Hermione burst out laughing. Harry finally exhaled a sigh of relief.

"You should have seen it!" Colin exclaimed. "It was blazing, flames ten feet high! Too bad I didn't have my camera with me…"

"But Harry, when did this happen?" Hermione asked, trying to contain the huge smile crossing her face.

"Er…after you left the library. I headed back to the common room, waiting for one of you to show up. Well, Ron finally did. We both said a few words and I guess I got too angry with him…" Harry said, trailing off at the end of his sentence and looking away. Hermione had noticed that he had turned a bit red.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna head back up to the common room," he said, getting up to leave the table.

"Wait! I'll go with you…" and Hermione got up as well and both of them walked out of the Great Hall.

They walked quietly for a while. Harry had his hands in his pockets and kept looking around everywhere except at Hermione. Hermione was looking down at her feet, thinking once again, about all the things that had happened. She thought about what Harry had done. The corners of her mouth twitched and a small smile appeared on her face. She knew Harry hadn't really meant to set Ron aflame, but it was still a very nice act of friendship.

"Thanks Harry."

Harry's wondering eyes came to a rest on Hermione as she spoke these two simple words. He was glad he could help, even if it was somewhat of an accident. "Ron's an idiot. He deserved what he got."

Hermione laughed, but it wasn't the usual laugh of mirth. It was a dry, bitter laugh. She was laughing at the unfairness of it all and why, in school, they never taught us what we needed to know…like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart. Harry, of course, recognized this immediately. He stopped walking and so did Hermione. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her directly in the eye. She had never seen his eyes look so intense before.

"Hermione, Ron really is a fool for messing up like this and I certainly can't deny that. He was dating the smartest, most talented witch in Hogwarts and he ruined it by going off with some other girl who could never compare to you."

Hermione stood there, a bemused expression upon her face, while she let Harry's words sink in. He had let go of her and had resigned himself to looking down at the floor, finding his shoes especially interesting. He was surprised, but happy, when Hermione finally hugged him.

"Thanks Harry."

Harry wasn't sure what to say and decided to leave it that. He hugged her back, a bit more tightly than usual. His mind wondered about the future, the rest of the school year that is, and what else may happen to the trio. Would things ever be the same again? Or would things continue changing? What would things be like between him and Hermione? Realizing where his thoughts were going, he pulled away from Hermione quickly. He coughed and looked away nervously, mildly ashamed of himself. He chanced a glance at Hermione and noticed confusion in her eyes. Was that a hint of hurt he detected as well?

"Are you alright?" she asked.

Harry coughed again. "Yeah…I'm…I'm fine. Let's keep walking, shall we?" He turned and started walking down the corridor again. Hermione fell into step beside him.

Once again, there was silence between the two. They finally reached the portrait and Harry muttered the password, "Twiddledee." After they both entered the empty common room, Harry turned to Hermione who had walked in behind him.

"Hermione, I'm sorry, for everything that's happened," he said quietly.

"Don't be ridiculous Harry! None of this was your fault!"

Harry didn't know how to explain it. It did feel like it was his fault and he didn't know how to make her understand that. He looked down at the floor feeling insufficient. Hermione stepped towards him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm going to bed Harry. Don't beat yourself up over this."

Hermione sighed and walked over to the staircase leading to the dormitories. Placing a hand on the railing, she turned and looked back at Harry.

"Goodnight Harry."

He looked up and turned around to see Hermione smiling at him at the bottom of the staircase. He smiled back.

"Goodnight Hermione."

Disclaimer: The phrase, _"In school, they never taught us what we needed to know…like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart…" _is from a song by Brand New called Seventy Times 7. It was perfect and I had to fit it in there. Check it out sometime.


	3. Alive

A/N: Wha! I think I have to cry! I only got two reviews for chapter 2! Thanks to Andy and tamar-shaki! Now, I'm not the kind of writer who does the whole "I'll only post another chapter if I get ten more reviews." Personally, I think that's a bit stupid, BUT more reviews would be a nice incentive…just a suggestion.

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Chapter 3

Harry lay awake that night thinking and pondering about the day's events. His two best friends, who had decided to date each other, were now broken up. _Finally…_ Not that he was happy about the split, but he thought they never should have tried. In the beginning, it seemed like it would work, but that didn't mean it would. Harry had known this all along, but didn't dare say anything out of fear that Ron would get the wrong impression. Knowing Ron, he would have accused Harry of liking Hermione or being jealous. This was funny considering Ron had been the one to become jealous in their fourth year and was even silly enough to accuse Hermione of "fraternizing with the enemy."

Of course, if Ron had ever accused Harry of liking Hermione, it would have been much less silly; considering the fact that Harry _did_ like Hermione. Thinking of this, Harry pondered if the scene he and Ron caused in the common would raise any ideas about this fact. Now he wished he hadn't lost his temper. But he couldn't help that Ron was being such a slimy git…

"You didn't have to tell her!" Ron bellowed.

"And what else was I supposed to do? Just sit back, while Hermione doesn't have a clue, and let you hurt her?!" Harry bellowed back. "She's my friend and I wouldn't let you do that to her, whether you happen to be my best friend or not!"

Since the moment Ron had entered the common room sporting a bruised cheek he and Harry had been carrying on a blazing row. Students who had been quietly studying had looked around flabbergasted at the onset of noise emitting from Harry and Ron. They all listened hoping to piece together exactly what happened.

"She would have figured it out sooner or later by herself! I'm sure she's smart enough!"

"Not when it comes to you!" Harry yelled. His face turning red with the frustration Ron was causing. How could he be so stupid? Did he think Hermione would have been ok with it if she had figured it out on her own? "She trusted you! I trusted you! We've been best friends for six years! I never thought you'd pull stunt like this and expect to get away with it!"

"And six years as best friends wasn't enough for you to cover me?!" Ron shouted.

Harry was disgusted. When had his friend become so delusional? Never had he imagined that Ron could become so smarmy as he was right now. Had he really expected Harry to make up excuses for him and deceive Hermione? Harry became almost sick at the thought. Somewhere in his stomach gave an almighty lurch…

"You've turned into such a shallow, delusional, pig-headed git that I'm only half surprised you'd think that," Harry replied, his voice low and dangerous.

Ron made a move as if to hit Harry, but stopped suddenly when he smelt something.

"What's burning?" Harry's eyes widened in hilarious disbelief as he noticed smoke issuing from Ron's head.

"It looks like your hair's on fire, mate," Seamus said, looking confused. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or fetch some water.

But before anybody could do anything, Ron reached his hands towards his head and screamed in fright and pain as the flames licked his fingers. They were slowly encompassing his entire scalp. Panicking, Ron ran to the portrait and stumbled out into the corridor. Everybody watched as he got up quickly and set at a dead run down the corridor, his flaming head finally disappearing around a corner.

Harry vaguely wondered if Ron would ever talk to him again, but decided he didn't care at the moment. He still stood by the words he had said to Hermione earlier. _He deserved what he got. _He thought back on the bemused expression that appeared on her face after he said all those words. Even now he wasn't quite sure where they came from or where he got the nerve to tell her.

It had only been awhile since he realized he might have feelings for Hermione. Actually, it had been just a few days after she and Ron had been going out. They were constantly holding hands and Hermione smiled and giggled more than ever. Harry had pondered if he could make her that happy.

Not after the hell you put her through last year, a cruel voice echoed in Harry's mind.

Harry sighed heavily. He didn't want to think about it, but he knew he would anyway as soon as he fell asleep. He could never keep himself from having the nightmares that plagued him every night. Try as he might, he could not erase the scenes that he had witnessed at the Ministry of Magic that night.

Bitterly resigning himself to this fact, Harry fell into a fitful sleep. Flashbacks of the events from that night undulated in his mind. Once again he relived the battle. He saw Bellatrix Lestrange, the veil, Sirius falling. Ron was stumbling around, muttering nonsense things. A flash of purple flame hit Hermione in the chest. She crumpled to the ground, a look of surprise on her face. The image of Hermione's motionless body lying on the floor seemed more prevailing than ever. His mind seemed to enjoy replaying this particular moment in slow motion.

Harry watched over and over again the same streak of purple flame pass through Hermione's chest and her crumple to the ground, seemingly dead. He was now squirming in his bed, tangling himself in the sheets, fighting to wake up. A cold sweat had broken out all over his body. This was unfair, he didn't want this, but it was still his fault.

Don't let her be dead, don't let her be dead, it's my fault if she's dead… he kept muttering in his sleep. After watching her crumple to the ground one last time, Harry finally bolted awake and sat up.

"HERMIONE!"

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Hermione sat up in her bed, looking around her dormitory. A cold sweat on her face mingled with the tears she had shed while dreaming. She hadn't dreamt about the Ministry of Magic in a long time. This was probably due to the fact that being with Ron made her happy and distracted her from such things. But now that he was gone…

Had it been him who called her name so late in the night? In a rush of hope, she almost believed this, but then remembered that he was still down in the hospital wing. Then who had called her name? It's why she had woken up from that awful dream, wasn't it? She looked around the dormitory once again, looking at all the girls sleeping peacefully in their beds. Her eyes narrowed when it passed over Lavender's sleeping form. _It couldn't have been one of them…it had been a male voice…_

Then it hit her.

Hermione sprung out of bed, hastily put on her slippers and grabbed her night robe. She padded downstairs to the boy's dormitories. She stopped in front of the sixth year boy's dormitories and quietly opened the door. She was mildly surprised when she saw a figure sitting up in bed, his face gleaming in the moonlight from the cold sweat.

Harry's head turned to the dormitory door and was extraordinarily relieved to see Hermione peaking her head in. He grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and put them on as he walked over to her. He had never seen her look so worried. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she seemed confused. He opened the door wider to allow himself to slip outside and close the door behind him. They stood on the landing, staring at each other, searching each other's eyes, both unsure of what to say. Finally, Harry embraced her in a tight hug.

"You're alive," he breathed.

Hermione hugged him back, her eyes welling up with tears and threatening to spill again. She smoothed his hair and answered soothingly, "Yes, I'm alive. I'm here."

It felt like Harry was finally able to breathe freely since that awful night. Never had he felt more relieved than he was right now. Even more than that, he had never felt more _alive_. It was as simple as that. As long as she was alive, he was alive. As long as Hermione stayed alive, it didn't matter that he had to save the world for everybody else. It didn't matter that he would have to kill Voldemort in the end.

Harry froze. _The prophecy…_

Feeling Harry go suddenly rigid, Hermione pulled away. She noticed his eyes had a far away look about them. His face seemed slightly pale and his breath seemed ragged.

"Harry…" She placed a hand on his cheek, hoping to get his attention. Jarred from his thoughts, he grabbed her hand and spoke in a voice that seemed unlike his own.

"N-Nothing. It's nothing," he said quietly. He pulled her hand down from his cheek to his side and stared at it. He was holding her hand…

Hermione didn't believe him. "Harry, you can talk to me. It's alright."

Harry looked up and noticed Hermione's eyes mounting with concern. He gave a feeble smile and squeezed her hand.

"I know. You should get back to bed. Class tomorrow and such."

Hermione continued to look at him, narrowing her eyes, trying to discern what was on Harry's mind. She decided she wouldn't push it and take Harry's advice.

"Yes, I should. See you tomorrow." And with these final words, Hermione turned and headed back upstairs.

A very uneasy feeling settled deep within Harry's stomach as he watched her retreating form. He would have to tell her sooner or later; and Ron too, if they ever talked again. Suddenly, things seemed so trivial compared to what Harry would eventually have to do. He was not looking forward to when "sooner or later" would come around. How exactly do you tell your friends that you have to kill or be killed?


	4. The Art of Losing One's Mind

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Author's Note: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I've been a bit busy and I've been having trouble coming up with inspiration. As you can tell, this chapter is longer than the others so I'm hoping it'll make up for the long wait. Also, I know the end seems rushed, but I desperately wanted to get this chapter up. So I apologize if it seems a bit awkward.

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Chapter 4

Harry woke with a start Monday morning. For a moment, he sat there trying to recollect yesterday's events when they all came flooding back to him. Assuring himself that none of it had been a dream, he quickly dressed and prepared himself for what the day might bring. He was strangely certain that it'd be quite different.

Entering the Great Hall for breakfast, Harry found Hermione sitting quietly next to Ginny who was speaking happily with a fifth year girl he didn't know. Hermione looked slightly miserable. He walked over and sat down beside her.

"Hey…you feeling alright?" he asked quietly.

Hermione had been so absorbed in her pancakes that she hadn't noticed Harry show up. "Oh…hey. I'm fine." She struggled hard to put on a small smile.

Harry frowned when he saw this. "Oh Harry, of course I'm not alright. I woke up this morning hoping yesterday hadn't happen…but when I came downstairs I wondered where Ron was…then I remembered…" She stabbed bitterly at her pancakes

"Sorry…stupid question," Harry muttered.

Hermione softened and looked back at Harry. "No, don't be. I've just got to get used to this. I'll be fine eventually."

Harry could tell she only barely believed this as he watched her poke at her pancakes looking glum and not seeming hungry at all. However, he dismissed this, knowing it wouldn't help to pursue the subject. As he looked around the table, he noticed that Ron was definitely not there and felt a small satisfaction realizing that he was still in the hospital wing.

Soon the fluttering of wings filled the hall as the owl post arrived. Harry watched as a large, gray screech owl landed in front of his plate knocking over a pitcher of syrup. Harry stared, confused, until the owl stuck its foot out impatiently. He took the letter and opened it. Hermione watched as Harry read the letter and groaned.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"I have detention Wednesday evening."

"What for?"

Harry looked at her. "Well, I'm sure Professor McGonagall wasn't too happy with me setting Ron on fire."

"Oh." Hermione looked away, distracted. "Of course."

Harry gave her a funny look, ready to speak, but Dean, Seamus, and Neville interrupted him.

"Hey Harry," Dean greeted him. "You been having nightmares again?"

"Yeah, we heard you last night," Neville chimed in.

"And it sounded like somebody else was up as well," Seamus added.

Harry looked at them, very unprepared for an explanation when Hermione jumped in.

"He was sleepwalking. I heard him and came down to see if he was alright."

All four boys stared at her. Seamus then looked at Harry. "You sleepwalk?"

"Er…yeah," Harry replied, very unsure.

Seamus let out a "Hmph" of satisfaction, accepting this explanation as okay and quickly struck up a conversation with Dean and Neville. Harry looked at Hermione and smiled.

"Thanks."

"It's perfectly alright," Hermione replied, quite airily. She seemed to be trying very hard not to think about something. "I'm going to go to the library. I'll meet up with you in Charms."

Harry watched as she walked away, wiping at her eyes constantly. He knew she wasn't going to study. She wanted to be alone. He hoped she'd be alright.

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Instead of heading to the library, Hermione took to wandering the halls. Glaring, she took note of couples, hand in hand, walking to class. It was odd, now that she was alone, how she noticed there were more couples in Hogwarts than she previously thought. They were so happy and content with one another. The girls always giggled when boys whispered sweet nothings in their ear. Likewise, the guys would smile like idiots whenever they received a kiss on the cheek. It was so sickeningly sweet and endearing.

She despised them.

How dare they squeeze each other's hand? Or look at each other with those cliché stars in their eyes? How dare they smile at each other as if that single expression wiped away all the worries in the world? Bearing witness to all these actions as she walked the corridors made Hermione infinitely sick with resentment. _It's unfair_, she thought.

Finally, out of bitter frustration, she kicked angrily at a suit of armor. She was only rewarded with a throbbing big toe and had to bite down on her tongue to keep herself from crying out in pain.

"Now honestly! What was that for?"

Hermione jumped back, only half surprised that the suit of armor was talking to her. She only glared and walked away, only to run into a couple up ahead. Consequently, the incident with the suit of armor seemed to have interrupted their snog feast. They were now snickering at her.

"Yes, go ahead and laugh like the chipper little bunnies you are," Hermione snapped.

The couple goggled at her. Hermione realized the boy and girl to be Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott. Ernie looked indignant. "We're not bunnies," he finally stated.

"You are if I say you are!" Hermione exclaimed. "Ten points each from Hufflepuff." She knew taking points was a low blow, but she felt so terribly slighted that she'd take any action to receive some sort of satisfaction to ease the pain and injustice.

"What for?" Ernie asked, his indignation making him seem like an overstuffed jelly donut.

Hermione thought for a moment. "For making merry."

"Making merry?!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Yes," Hermione replied simply. "It's what bunnies do."

And feeling extremely complacent, Hermione walked off, deciding she best head towards Charms before she lost too much of her mind. Of course, it seemed like she may be too late.

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Harry sat alone in Charms class that morning. It wasn't unexpected of course, with Ron still in the infirmary and Hermione off who knows where. He didn't blame her if she had decided to skive off Charms. Harry looked to the window and noticed gray clouds hanging in the sky. In late November, it was hard to tell if it'd be raining or snowing.

"Potter!"

Harry jumped and looked away from the window. Professor Flitwick was talking to him. "Yes professor?"

"I was just asking you where Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger were."

Harry blinked. He didn't have an excuse for Hermione. "Er…Ron's in the infirmary and er…Hermione's…"

"I'm right here." Harry and Flitwick looked towards the door and saw Hermione step into the classroom.

"Ah Miss Granger. Where have you been?"

"Prefect duties," Hermione stated simply and smiled.

"Of course," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Take your seat. I was just in the middle of pairing everyone off to review Cheering Charms. I was hoping you wouldn't miss them again."

Hermione had taken her seat next to Harry and smiled, remembering the time in third year when she had missed this exact same lesson because of her Time Turner. "Of course not Professor."

Professor Flitwick smiled and set the class to work. Harry leaned towards Hermione has she got out her notes.

"Prefect duties?" Harry questioned.

"Yes," Hermione answered, reading over her notes.

"What were they?"

Hermione looked at him. "Bunnies."

"Bunnies?"

"Bunnies."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Harry looked out the window expecting pigs to be flying. He was sure Hermione was losing her mind. He looked back at her. She was still smiling. The muscles in her face were straining. Her brown eyes held the glint of a mad person. He was wandering when she would snap. A small sense of fear crept over him.

"Do you remember the incantation Harry?"

Harry started. "Yeah. Ready?"

Hermione nodded and shut her eyes. Harry admired for a second her dark eyelashes upon her ivory skin before waving his wand and reciting the incantation. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around. Everybody was smiling and laughing.

"Did it work?" Harry asked.

"I don't think so."

"Let me try again."

Hermione frowned. "No, Harry, I don't think it was you."

Harry's brow furrowed in concern. She seemed a bit peaky.

"How are you two getting along?" Professor Flitwick squeaked, standing by their desks.

Hermione put on a false, cheery smile. "Everything's fine!" she answered brightly. "I was just about to perform the charm on Harry."

"Ah well then, let's see it!"

She raised her wand, her lips posed to recite the incantation, but before any words could escape her mouth, Hermione fell onto the floor in a dead faint. A very loud, startled squeak escaped Professor Flitwick and a collective gasp was heard throughout the classroom. Harry fell to his knees beside her, eyes wide, unsure of what to do.

"She fainted!" Parvati exclaimed.

Professor Flitwick performed a simple Recovery Charm. It took a moment before Hermione's eyes fluttered open. The people standing over her were a sea of blurs. After a few seconds, her surroundings began to swim into focus. She was slightly startled by the pale face with vivid green eyes and glasses leaning over her.

"Harry?" she asked groggily.

"You fainted…" he said softly. He held out a hand to help her up. With a small amount of struggle, she sat herself up and rubbed the back of her head. Her surroundings became unfocused once again and she wobbled a bit. Harry caught her by her shoulders and held her steady.

"Mr. Potter, I think you should escort her to the hospital wing. I'll write a note to excuse you." Professor Flitwick announced.

Harry nodded and stood up. He looked down at Hermione with a weak smile. "Can you stand up?"

"Yeah…" she reached up a hand and Harry grabbed it, pulling her up.

Hermione become very aware of everybody staring at her as she walked out the door. She was also very aware of Harry's hand keeping her steady. As soon as they got out into the corridor, Hermione let go of his hand and leaned against a wall. Her world kept spinning. She wished Harry would stop looking at her that way.

"I'm not going to die, Harry," she snapped.

Harry started and took a step back. He raked a hand through his hair nervously. "I wasn't thinking you were going to die," he replied quietly. This wasn't entirely the truth. When he had seen her hit the floor, the first thought that ran through his mind was "Is she dead?" That image alone had brought back the memory of Hermione crumpling to the floor in the Ministry of Magic. He shuddered.

"Harry…"

"Yes?"

"Harry…"

Harry stepped closer to Hermione. "What is it?"

"Catch me."

And Harry caught Hermione in his arms as she fainted once again. He stumbled a bit under her limp body. His gaze lingered a while on her face. She looked completely different with her eyes closed. There seemed to be something ethereal about her. Quickly, and rather gracefully, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her down to the hospital wing.

Every now and then, Hermione would mumble incoherent things and bury her face into Harry's chest. He found this endearing and had to resist the urge more than once to lean down and kiss her on the forehead.

Finally, he found himself in front of the infirmary doors and kicked them open, causing quite a lot of noise. Madam Pomfrey came running looking slightly harassed. "What on earth was that for?" She looked at Hermione, lying limp in Harry's arms. "Good gracious, what happened to her?"

"She fainted," Harry replied.

"Well, don't just stand there! Bring her over to a bed!"

Harry gave her a disgruntled look and lay Hermione down on the nearest bed. Further down the ward, Harry recognized the tuft of red hair sticking out of the white bandages wrapped around the patient's head. He was looking at them. Harry left Hermione to be tended to by Madam Pomfrey and made his way over to Ron's bedside.

The tension in the air was almost palpable.

"I didn't mean to light your head on fire," Harry began.

"I know…"

"But I'm not sorry I did."

Ron glared. "Look, I know I messed up."

"You know?" Harry asked incredulously. "And here I was, thinking you were bloody thicker than Polyjuice Potion."

"Will you stop?!" Ron exclaimed. "I'm trying to apologize."

"Apologize? You should be talking to Hermione then."

A weird moment passed after Harry spoke. Ron flinched and an odd glint flashed before his eyes. He looked passed Harry and his eyes fell on Hermione who was taking a potion from Madam Pomfrey. Then he looked back at Harry.

"I can't."

"You can't? Or you won't?" Harry snarled.

Ron's face flushed and he looked down at the bed cover. Harry barely heard him whisper, "Won't." It took all of Harry's self control not to blow up at him.  
  
"Why not?" he asked.

"I just told you. I can't."

"You just said you won't."

"I won't because I can't," Ron stated dejectedly.

Harry wanted to yell at him. He wanted to call him an idiot and tell him that it didn't make sense. He wanted to grab his throat and throttle him asking "Why? Why? Why?" Throwing a large, heavy object at this face also appealed to Harry. He just wanted to do something, anything, to reverse all the damage Ron had caused and bring The Trio back to normal. He hated being angry with Ron and he really didn't want to be, but he had to be angry. He had to be vengeful. He had to be defensive of Hermione. For Harry, it was just like standing up for Neville whenever Malfoy picked on him. Except Hermione was now Neville and Ron was Malfoy.

This last thought disgusted Harry so much that it cancelled out all the violent images absorbing his mind. He finally resorted to narrowing his eyes at Ron's withering persona and walking away. His expression relaxed as he approached Hermione's beside and saw her smiling faintly at him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, but Madam Pomfrey wants me to stay here so I can rest," Hermione replied.

"Does she know why you fainted?"

"Yes. I haven't really eaten since lunch yesterday and I barely slept last night. Of course, that was bound to catch up to me."

Harry didn't need to ask why she hadn't been eating or sleeping, but there was one question he needed to ask.

"What about the Cheering Charm? Why didn't it work?"

Surprisingly, Hermione laughed. He assumed it must not be as puzzling for her as it was for him. She calmed down and looked at him seriously.

"I'm pretty sure it had to do with my state of mind. I had pretty much lost my mind and you can't do magic on something that's not really there," Hermione explained.

Harry felt compelled to laugh. And he did. It was weird listening to Hermione talk about losing her mind when all these years, she had been the one with the level head.

"Mr. Potter, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Madam Pomfrey said sternly, approaching Hermione's bed. She had a sleeping potion with her.

He nodded obediently and told Hermione goodbye. As he walked out the door, he looked over his shoulder and saw her take a sip of the potion Madam Pomfrey had given her. She fell asleep instantly.


End file.
